...loner

Here i'm alone
Sitting near window stared people passing by
And realize, i'm facing a glass
As transparent as they are, still mirroring some reflection
And now infront of me, is my own reflection
I can't help but stare
Diferent me or still the old me?
I couldn't stare it more than ten seconds
Like i'm naturally a coward
Or being narcisstic to catch my own glimpse
This table i sat, fit for two
I'm with my own reflection
Followed by too many things what is going on in my mind
Just too random
And it starts appearing
Those feeling that brings a tremor
Dammit
My breathing going heavy and rapid
Whats this?
am i being cured?

the slumber

Don’t know where these things started

But I realized while it became frequently

Around three months or so

When you’re eyes felt heavier and it’s time for bed

And you’re already lie in and eyes shut

Then your senses (hearing) and mind still awake

Bugging you to keep awake

It consuming whole night-bed time

And Adzan filled the air then poof sun is rising

Seems like you’re not fall asleep at all

But your body go weak to get up

It’s between yes or no about fell asleep last night

When the day is coming and force you to work your ass

You feel tired

You feel sleepy in the middle of the day

And those thingy is happen again the next day

And next, next, next until you’re really sleepy at night

In the middle of the night I suddenly awake

Eventhough I feel tired asf

I’m starting to google

The result wasn’t satisfy me

The answer filled with insomnia dominantly

I don’t think it called insomnia

There’s a thing called Narcolepsy which has semi-answer for me

No I don’t think it counted as narcolepsy too

When free time came I followed my drowsiness at days

I tried to clear the time is around 9 a.m

Voila, I slept really well and counted as quality sleep

At final, I didn’t find the cure

I keep sleeping like in-between

Bring me anxiety and odd mood at days

Cold and semi-dark room are quite comfort me also

By an earplug and music that soothe me

Thank God those symptom not followed with halusination

Hearing Turn into Feeling

Miss it
The placebo feeling
Creeping through skin
World spinning
Got nerves into tingling
Every edges, reminding

Isn't it nice
The way we separated
No one will be hated
No one going to hatred